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Importance of Parenting

Wendy Kaufman - Friday, August 17, 2012

The importance of parenting is becoming more evident as the rate of childhood obesity is rising at a concerning rate. According to Kids Health, “1 out of 3 kids now considered overweight or obese.” A child’s ability to be a confident, healthy, and successful individual can be ruined by this epidemic of obesity. Although there are many factors that create such an outcome, parenting can be a major contributor.

In order to tackle this problem, we need to understand where the problem begins. From my research and analysis, I can confidently say that parents are the problem. Being a parent myself, I know how hard it can be – it IS a full time job. On top of that no parent can control every aspect of their children’s lives, and no child is perfect. However, when it comes to something like obesity, it is time for parents to step up to the plate.

How can parents make sure their children are healthy?

Stop denying. When it gets to the point where the pediatrician is telling you your beautiful child is not longer at a healthy weight – listen. It is second nature for any parent to believe their child is wonderful, and most likely they really are wonderful. But that is no excuse to allow their health and well-being to be jeopardized. Talk to your pediatrician, listen to the facts and get advice.

Make Time. Our lives can get pretty chaotic, and because of this various parts of our lives may be unintentionally ignored or overlooked. It is essential that our children’s healthy and their weight does not become an aspect of our life that we can’t find time, or energy, to deal with. Whether its finding time to talk to your child about the issue, or finding time to figure out the right foods and exercise, you have to somehow find that time.

Take control. Often times we don’t even realize it, but our kids are telling us what to do instead of the other way around. Although you may not always get the best response, you have to be able to put your foot down. Especially when it comes to health. If we let our children do the grocery shopping, our cabinets would be full of chips, popcorn, and ice cream. It is up to the parent to decide what food is made available to their child, taking the control back.

Most of all – Ask for help! If 1 out of 3 children are overweight, you are not alone in this problem! Whether it’s a teacher, the pediatrician, or another mother, there are others who can help.

The health problems that inevitably come with being overweight, as well as the emotional and mental damage, is something that no child should have to deal with. As parents we must find ways to keep our kids happy and healthy.

What to do When Life and Work Become a Blur of Chaos

Wendy Kaufman - Friday, August 17, 2012

There are all kinds of stresses in our lives – family, friends, finances, responsibilities, work, and the list goes on. But the worst kind of stress is when all these worlds collide, causing what seems to be a time of complete chaos. At times like these, we tend to become panicked, confused, and irrational. So how can we find calm in all the craziness? Take control back into your own hands.

It's like we each have a bucket with a finite amount of room for problems and we do pretty well until it's full. But the minute it overflows, it's a huge psychic overload and yes, a breakdown. And this is precisely what happened to me just a  few months ago. I was dealing with the loss of my father, who also happened to be my best friend. One of my employees, whom I care about a great deal, was diagnosed with a serious medical condition. And on top of all of the daily stresses, as well as the ones listed above, a mistake happened at work, which almost lost me one of my largest clients – it’s safe to say I was at breakdown point.

So I stopped, took a breath, and remembered the some of my important steps to gaining back control over my life.

First and foremost – breathe, relax, and clear your mind. Take a mental health day and regain the intelligence that all of us seem to lose sight of during a time of chaos. When we don’t slow down and just stop, we begin to make irrational decisions. This only leads down a slippery slope that only makes things worse.

Next, make a list. Somehow organize all those thoughts running through your head. Understand what is a priority, and what can wait. But you can only doing this by sorting out what needs to be done, and the time needed to get it done.

Then – take BACK the control. Of course we cannot do this with everything, some things, like a death, are completely out of our control. Instead concentrate on the things you CAN control. By doing this you are taking back the reins on your own life.

And finally the step that I find most helpful – talk. Don’t keep it all inside, know that family, friends, and co-workers are in our lives for a reason, and we can in fact depend on other people for help. Just simply talking things over with another person can make you see things in a different light. That person may also have a view on the issue that you may not even thought of. Either way, by talking through a problem you are dealing with it head on, and that is the key in moving forward to find a solution.

 

Finding Balance

Wendy Kaufman - Friday, August 17, 2012

Throughout my career I have tried to help others understand the importance of balancing life’s issues. I have found that people have the most difficulty figuring out a way to balance their personal lives and their career. Why is it so important to find this balance? Because relationships and work are both very important, and no one should have to sacrifice one for the other. The key to having a successful relationship, as well as a successful career, is figuring out how to find that balance.

So who is a model student of this theory? The infamous Mark Zuckerberg. This Facebook genius met his other half at a fraternity party in college, before any of the glitz and the glam that came with his success. Throughout all the good and bad, the two managed to maintain a strong relationship, and finally became husband and wife this year. 

Of course, no one knows what goes on in a relationship besides the people in the relationship, however I can make a few assumptions in regard to the methods and techniques Mr. Zuckerberg used to get there.

While it is important to keep work separate from your personal life, it is important to allow your significant other in on what’s going on. We all know your life cannot and should not revolved around your career, however a career is a major part of someone’s life. It affects someone’s moods, happiness, finances, location, and the list goes on. Because of this, you can’t keep your partner out of the loop! It is important that some things are explained to them, to some extent, so that they can better understand why you are acting a certain way, and so they can celebrate your achievements with you!

Also important, is maintaining your priorities list. Throughout our lives we all have times that are a little more chaotic than most, and work may be taking up more time and energy than usual. When this starts to affect other aspects of your life, such as our relationship – you HAVE to take a step back. Work does find a way to work itself out, and life is full of opportunities. Jobs come and go, but family and love does not.

How else do I think Mr. Zuckerberg and his bride created such a strong marriage? He puts just as much effort into his relationship as he does his work. We all know the man is a genius, and becoming successful was not a question of if, but when. When this effort and devotion is put into a relationship, it creates a strong and long-term connection, like the one he has developed with his wife.

So we can now envy not just Mark Zuckerberg’s success, but also his ability to find his work-life balance. And as he has shown us, it’s not easy, but it can be done!

How To Balance Life And Work --Tool # 1 Sleep

Wendy Kaufman - Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Our toolbox on how to balance life and work starts with the tool of sleep.

Many clients have asked me about how important sleep really is.
It is critical to our health, our immune system, our healthy eating choices,
our sex lives and I think, most importantly, to how often we laugh.

It can be a challenge to get 7 - 8 hours of sleep a night...
and there have been many nights when I would just lay in bed thinking this
is never going to work. 
I would just lay there --all the thoughts of the day flooding my brain making sleep elusive. 

So I decided, rather than continue to toss and turn; I would sit up and read some nice
inspirational stories and soon I was fast asleep.  

Now, I have a strict bedtime of 9:30 pm to get right out of bed at 6 am ready
and eager for the day.

Here is a step by step guide for going to sleep and staying asleep.

1-    Make the commitment to add sleep to your life. 
2-    Plan your bedtime right when you wake up in the morning.
3-    Have a comfortable bed, sheets, and goose down pillow!
4-    Wear comfy, warm pajamas… the ones you can’t wait to put on.
5-    Announce your bedtime to your family so everyone understands when your day is done.
6-    Prepare breakfast, empty the dishwasher,  plan your dinner for the next night.
7-    Procede to your bed…wash, and slip into your sheets.
8-    Read 20 minutes of your favorite book or magazine.  This is fun reading only!
No work assignments allowed.
9-    Lights out and breathe and begin the ritual of going to sleep.  
10-    Focus exclusively good things in your life… list the blessings you have
11-    Do not concentrate on falling asleep.  Your task is to relax and chant again
and again how wonderful, amazing you and your life is.
12-    If you do wake up in the middle of the night- do not move, get up or stir. 
Just refocus and revisit your positive thoughts.
 

Sleep... It is the basis of positive psychology and training your brain to filter out negative
thoughts and is critically important to improving productivity.  As with any new tool for the box,
as you learn how to balance life and work, it will take time and commitment to learn
and successfully utilize sleep to help you balance life

Pleasant dreams!

 

Wendyphoto2009cropped

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company
with a network of more than 500 trainers. 

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit
organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include:
Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.  

How To Balance Life and Work programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today
and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a
Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. 
You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Balance in Work and Life - creating your toolbox for life.

Wendy Kaufman - Tuesday, March 22, 2011

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Balance in Work and Life - creating your toolbox for life.

We have all heard of the anomaly called work-life balance.  What is it? And is attainable?

I would like to introduce you to a new tool for your tool box to aid in your quest for a more meaningful, balanced life.  I have been studying, teaching and living work and life balance for 25 years.  The studying and teaching part has been easy.  It is the living part that proves more difficult. 

I practice what I preach intentionally utilizing all the tools that I will describe.  My journey began 10 years after I started studying the need for balance in work and life.  I was a working mom with 3 young children and a husband in suburbia.  We shared household chores but the children were my responsibility whereas the finances were his.  Many couples find living in this manner adequate.  For me, life changed the day my husband left.  Now, as I have come to learn, everyone has his or her own “story” that makes achieving balance so challenging.  I made many attempts to “do it all” failing miserably on a daily basis. 

I have developed a list of questions to self-assess the balance in your life.

  • Are you tired all the time?
  • Do you over react to the smallest of things?
  • How often have you said –“I wish I hadn’t said that” ?
  • Have you missed important life cycle events?
  • What do people say about you? To your face?  And especially behind your back?
  • Do you like your life?
  • Do you wake up happy most of the time?
  • Are you loved? Do you love?

Failing this test miserably motivated me to put into action all that I had been teaching about how to pursue a balanced life.  Stay tuned as I roll out my toolbag for achieving balance in work and life

 

Wendyphoto2009cropped

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers. 

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.  

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.  You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

 

Sex, Work and Life Balance and the Happy Single

Wendy Kaufman - Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sex, Work and Life Balance and the Happy Single

While none of us likes to admit we watch or follow celebrities attempts to achieve balance in work and life, we are all fascinated by their seemingly perfect lives. Jennifer Aniston’s latest interview with People Magazine is interesting because she states that she in happy without a significant other.

Here is the problem or at least question I have with that – in order to succeed at our peak, one of our work and life balance buckets is having a significant other. Why is this so important? Because as human beings we need meaningful sexual intimacy.

True balance in work and life includes sex. Having unfulfilled urges and desires weighs on us. This is not to say that Jennifer Aniston is not having sex – but that is not the sex we are talking about here. It is not the kind that makes you feel connected with someone in meaningful way and makes you feel special so you can go out and really succeed.

There is a reason that committed happy couples live longer and it is because having a healthy sex life drives us. Jennifer is finding her happiness in other ways because her financial bucket is overflowing. She is living in denial that the other bucket does not matter. I wish in her interview she acknowledged the fact that her relationship (sex) bucket needs work. Since this is a balance in work and life blog I would be remiss if I didn’t include sexual relationships in that.

I know I am going to get a lot of comments on this from those who are alone and believe they are happy, bring it on! I want to hear about your work and life balance issues.

The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and health wellness programs.

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Stop Blaming the Economy For Lack Of Balance In Work And Life

Wendy Kaufman - Friday, February 18, 2011

Stop Blaming the Economy For Lack Of Balance In Work And Life

While work may not wait, you also can't get back valuable family life moments

The last month has been a crazy, whirlwind series of work, work, work. I have worked 60 hours a week,
barely seen my kids and cannot even recognize my husband. I see my kids being "sad" that I am not
around and even my husband misses me.

I am in the process of writing a full cover story on balance in work and life for small business owners and realize
that the irony is shocking. I need to stop and regroup and revisit my bucket system. I will never get back
those minutes of my life and while I am grateful for the work. I see how easy it is for your life to become unbalanced.

As I began to interview business people for the article, a majority of owners shared with me that they are too scared
of losing any business - that they have thrown work and life balance out the window and blame the "new economy."
One owner told me their “family will wait but their business won’t!”

This blog is screaming, yelling, ranting and raving “NO, NO, NO!” Not just to you but to myself as well.

I am one year away from being an empty-nester and never again will I have children home to see and kiss every
morning and night. Family doesn't wait and experiences are missed forever.

Yes, I am empathetic to money issues -I pay for 2 college tuitions and save for one more plus medical school -
but I know there is more to life and it seems we desperately need a wake-up call.

My fear is that all these owners who are working from
morning to night will wake up sick and alone someday.

Here is some good, concrete advice to help balance your life during this "new economy."

1. Skip many networking meetings.

Be very, very picky about which groups to join and make sure the meetings you are attending are the best and that you are spending your time wisely.

2. Block off time.

  • Go through your children's school calendar and block off any necessary dates - school vacations, superintendent days, and trip days. Prom season is important and fun to be around. Don't miss it!
  • Birthdays are always fun and part of being in a family.
  • Block off sometime and enjoy! Way too many clients are missing their moms 70th birthdays to go to a networking group with all unemployed people.

3. Go home in a good mood.

Your family deserves to see you at your best. I know that that is not possible to do all the time but most of the time is achievable. I drive around the block two to three extra times sometimes playing some upbeat music and remind myself how blessed I am to have such a great family. When I walk through the door I am ready to be a mom! The same is true in the morning when I am going to work. I give myself extra time commuting and remind myself how much I love my job and then when I get to the client I am raring to go.

4. Nip unnecessary interruptions in the bud.

Every second of every minute of every day counts. Be conscious of time wasters!

I would love to hear from you! Comment below: how many hours a week are your working now? What family activities have you missed? How do you feel about it? Let’s start a dialogue about life choices and that way we can learn from each other!


The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers.

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

 

Creating Balance In Work and Life - Aren’t All Small Business Owners a Little Narcissistic?

Wendy Kaufman - Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Aren’t All Small Business Owners a Little Narcissistic?

Creating Balance In Work and Life




 

What we can all learn from Mayor Bloomberg's love affair with himself

 

Lookiing at the most recent edition of The New Yorker- the cover depicts Mayor Bloomberg

having a love affair with himself. I was fascinated and quite honestly, somewhat motivated by

the Mayor’s comments. He said he likes what he sees when he looks in the mirror and is

happy with the choices he has made, which reminds me of my  five bucket theory for

work and life balance.

 

Obviously his finances are in total order as he is giving away most of his money,

and his salary is $1 a year. His children seem to be thriving, his relationship with

his girlfriend is stable, and he appears to be in good health.

 

So, what's the moral of his story?

 

The truth is narcissism is good for business. Whether I like his policies or not is irrelevant,

what I admire and learn from are his successes and confidence.

Many of us started businesses because we believed we could do it.

We had that extra bit of arrogance to believe we could overcome the odds.

 

The lesson of the day is let’s all be a little more narcissistic and like what

we see when we look in the mirror.

 

 


The Author Wendy Kaufman, is the founder of Balancing Life’s Issues a national training company with a network of more than 500 trainers. 

Wendy and staff bring a wide range of work and life balance programs to corporations, not-for-profit organizations and employee assistance programs. Some of the most popular topics include: Emotional Intelligence; Managing Stress with Humor and Health and Wellness.  

Balance in work and life programs prepare participants to cope with the stresses of today and face the challenges of tomorrow. Her seminars encourage participants to think differently.

Wendy is a senior trainer with the American Management Association. She earned a Master’s Degree in Industrial Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.  You can contact Wendy at Wendy@BalancingLifesIssues.com or 914-762-9075.

Family, Food and Holidays

Wendy Kaufman - Saturday, November 27, 2010
Family, Food and Holidays?!
It is 24 hours after Thanksgiving and I have a stomach ache. I am still full from yesterday. That is crazy. These holidays are all about food. I know all the tricks and I still fell in the pot hole? why what happens to our brain? Does it shut off? Is it stress? and then the food kicks in and makes us feel better? I have no real complaints about the holiday only would like to go back in time and breathe,slow down, laugh more and eat way less! So, here is my question can I freeze this revelation and do it right the next time?

comments?

Back to School

Wendy Kaufman - Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Check out my latest blog:
http://www.nyreport.com/articles/76828/tips_to_balance_back_to_school_and_back_to_work



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